I've struggled a bit trying to understand my physical reaction to leaving Franklin (not Frank). I've stayed in bed longer than is normal. I'm not overly motivated. I'm a bit sullen and I tried to equate the experience to Post Partem depression that was not a good analogy for me. I've kept busy, met friends for lunch, even had time to plan a date night to Oakland's
Paramount Theater to see
Vienna Tang. I could blame it on the weather, since the sun has refused to come out from behind the clouds for the entire week. And then the words of my friend Wayne Studer rang in my head ... that is what the Internet is for! So I went online and it looks, according to
So You've been Dumped.Com (
SYBD), that I need to treat this transition like a breakup and get ready to move on! According to SYBD, breaking up is hard to do, but it's something we all seem to go through at one time or another (very wise!). Breaking up seems to affect us similarly whether we are young or old, famous or not, rich or poor and irrespective of where we are in the world. Of course, the web is slightly bent for those who are dealing with being dumped and not those who did the dumping ... we go through loss too!
Here are a 10 suggestions that will hopefully help me decrease my recovery time and maybe minimize the amount of mistakes made along the way.
- Don't try to be their firend - make a "clean break"
- Do erase their telephone number from your mobile phone
- Do delete their old emails and their handle from your online "buddy" lists
- Don't sit around staring at the mementos
- Do use a journal or notebook to vent your pain, anger, frustration & so forth
- Do spoil yourself
- Change your surroundings
- Don't rebound
- Don't listen to the negative self-talk
- Do take charge of your life - the world is your oyster
Hmm. Number 1 could be difficult since the job and the relationships were so intertwined! SYBD recommends that it is time to go cold turkey and she's probably right! Oddly, due to the internal systems, I do not have a large number of phone numbers programmed and would have to dial the operator to chat with former colleagues. Done. On to number 3, deleting emails and buddy lists is pretty simple ... but do I want to? This is difficult. Moving on to number 4. I've started the process of moving things into boxes and organizing items that will follow me to the new office. Number 5 is a good one for me and I've been monitoring my reactions with a journal ... and I've been spoiling myself by sleeping in longer, meeting friends for lunch and taking a little trip. Done. Change my surroundings is a easy since I will be going a new direction, taking public transportation and working in a new office. Good times! Now if only someone had told my not to rebound in my personal relationships! I think taking the two weeks between jobs is a good thing ... time to recover, decompress and regroup. Oddly, the negative self-talk has diminished now that I'm in transition. It feels odd to have to prove myself again in a new environment, but I will be fine and just have to focus on the positive. And finally, the advice of SYBD is to take charge of my life which I've done!
