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I like to call it the "Do it before you die" syndrome ... you know, the time when you are on vacation and you never know if and when you'll ever be in that location again, so you create an agenda that should take a six months to do properly and squeeze it into 48 hours (give or take). Some claim that this syndrome is a uniquely American thing and that the "See Seven Countries in Seven Days" only appear to American advertising; aimed at Americans who fear that if they do not have their picture holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the world as we know it will end. They get the picture, though in reality all they did was pile off of a bus, pose for the picture, buy a postcard, purchase the LTOP vibrator (it is for the neck after hours the long hours on the bus straining to see the sights fly by at 65 mph!), and then got back on the bus for the overnight drive to the Swiss Alps where they will unload, blow on a horn, take another picture and fall asleep dreaming of Heidi.
The funny thing is, at least for me, we did not have any plans for the weekend other than to take a bike ride. Hmm. Here's the agenda. See if you can keep up.
Friday Night
- Start with a lovely 3 course Chinese Dinner (i.e. potstickers, entree and a fortune cookie)
- Travel by high speed rail (i.e. underground public transportation)
- Pass City Hall and the exciting upcoming 6th St. Corridor (i.e. be careful of crazy street people, strip clubs and crack whores)
- Attend a concert at San Francisco's historic Warfield Theater and receive a one-of-kind poster (i.e. Kathy Griffin - stand up comedian and co-star of "Suddenly Susan")
- Take an after-show stroll through San Francisco's Theater district and take a coach back to your evening's accommodations. (i.e. a MUNI bus packed with crazies on a Saturday night)
Saturday
- Ride the Historic "F" line down Market Street past the Mint, City Hall, and the cable cars
- Sample your way through the culinary selections at the renovated Ferry Building
- Literally touch the Titanic and an ice burg at the Titanic Exhibition, then reflect upon the experience near the cascading Martin Luther King memorial fountain
- Shop in San Francisco's premier Union Square or head home for a little R&R before a night of theater
- Attend dress rehearsal of A Chorus Line, the exclusive pre-Broadway show
Sunday
- Load up and head to Ocean Beach, home of the Cliff House, the Beach House and the world famous windmills
- Strap on a helmet, straddle your bicycle and wave at the ocean as you ride along the Great highway
- See the SF Zoo, home of the new African Safari, then make your way around Lake Merced
- Take a walking tour to Dotties Blue Cup Diner for breakfast before going to a Giant's Ball Game at AT&T Park
- Watch 12 innings and see San Francisco lose to San Diego in front of 42,000 people
- Grab a quick bite to eat, then attend a movie at one of San Francisco's movie palaces, AMC's 1000 Van Ness
This is a full weekend for anyone. But Frank and I are troopers and can handle the scheduling, though by Monday neither of us will be wanting to go to work. Let's start with Friday night.
Friday Night
I hate to impose on my friends but after viewing Kathy Griffin's Life on the D List season 1 and 2, we were very excited to have the opportunity to see her in person. If you do not recall who she is, check out Kathy's website. Apparently a lot of other people were excited as well, because the concert sold out faster than her mother could say Jesus H (you know who I'm referring to). We heard that due to strong sales a second show was scheduled and we quickly went online to get tickets and again tickets were gone. Sold out. Not available. Frank asked me to ask a friend who knows Kathy whether he might have a connection to tickets. He did and we were front row center of the balcony with other promoter people. Granted we had to pay but we had probably some of the best seats in the house.
Now, I've been to the Warfield Theater probably twice in my life. The first time was to see Tears for Fears back in the 90's. This was at a time when the group was about to break up and everyone in the audience brought sunflowers to wave. I understand why they did it but I was a little pissy by the fact that my view was continuously blocked by some fat chick waving this thing in my face. The second time I went to the Warfeild was to see Dido back in 2000. We were on the floor and other than sore feet really had a good time. I had forgotten that the former stage theater is basically a concert venue and for some reason they sell nachos and other limited food items which seem out of place in a venue that still clings to some of the grandeur of the past.
Anyway, we did not know if we would have tickets (the fear of Will Call), how much they actually cost, or where the seats were located, but we had tickets and that's all that mattered! We didn't have to pay the Ticketmaster surcharge and well I already described the location of the seats. Fabulous. I also got to sit next to a couple who obviously had connections and probably got to go backstage, since a woman came talked about what to do after the concert. They were nice but kept asking questions, which by itself is not an issue ... but they had been making friends with the bar tender and there is something unpleasant about getting a second-hand buzz from the breath of a person seated next to you. Was it a martini? Long Island ice tea? Cosmo? or a combination of the three. I can only say I was thankful that it was not beer.
It is amazing how censored the shows are on television. We've seen Kathy's concerts on Bravo, watched the television show (nominated for an Emmy this year) and quickly discovered, that she has quite the mouth on her; a very funny mouth but one that would make my mother blush, if you know what I mean. Anyway, on her show, the film crew followed her to Iraq. Kathy and a couple of other comedians went to perform for the troops. Prior to going, the army sent Kathy a letter with information on what was appropriate and what was not. Here is a clip (I did not film this) of her reviewing the letter, an uncensored segment that was not seen on the show:
On Saturday morning, Miss Kitty needed to receive her subQ shot and since we were meeting Etan at the Ferry Building for brunch, it would be easier if we stayed at my house. This seems like a simple thing to accomplish but, being San Francisco, it also entails close contact with the crazies who's entertainment dollars are spent on a bottles of cheap wine and a cruise around the city on public transportation.
As mentioned, the Warfield is in an area of the city that is still "upcoming" (i.e. not safe after 11:00). In true herd mentality we exited the theater onto the streets and nice, bathed people transitioned into street prostitutes (or a band of high school girls in skimpy outfits waiting for their tour bus on a street corner with a scary chaperone), homeless people and club goers heading out. We waited for the bus and finally got on one. It was packed. We jumped to the back of the bus and quickly realized that not only were we packed on a bus with people of questionable hygiene, we were also in the under 25 group of Argentine tourists who were not only listening to their ipod in a group but singing to Shakira's Hips don't lie and dancing.
Public entertainment is all well and good, but it should be entertaining. The girls were singing along unaware of the fact that they were not in key and knocking people about while shaking their booties. The bus grumblers became more vocal, starting to shout that "THAT IS ENOUGH!" which of course was not heard by the iPod singer/dancers. At Van Ness, a lovely women whose hair was a natural fire engine red (faded) states as she grabbed the pole that she knows the song and can dance to anything if she has a pole to hang on to. I make the assumption that she just got off work from one of our gentlemen's clubs ... and I can only hope that the club has fantasy lighting because in the harsh light of MUNI, it was NOT pretty. The Argentine's got a picture with the stripper and then jumped off of the bus, causing the grumblers to state that it felt like the longest bus ride ever. I have to agree. We got back to my place and after a good night's sleep were ready to conquer another 24 hours in the lovely city of San Francisco.
Saturday
Saturday morning is a great time of day to head down to the Ferry Building, although the popularity of the location is really growing. It is a great location to people watch and enjoy munching on tasty little brunch items. John and Etan were waiting for us as we jumped off of the "F" Line. We started our meal with sausage-on-a-stick and then I enjoyed 5-spice chicken from Slanted Door. Etan twisted our arms to get in the gelato line before we headed out to wander the farmer's market.
It was then time to head to the Titanic Artifact Exhibition. We made a quick stop by Beard Papa to try one of the cream puffs that are all the rage. Odd. Sweet. I'll be happy to take people to try, though I'm not sure what the thrill is, nor why they would stand in line for more that 30 minutes to have cream ooze on on their faces.
The Titanic Artifact Exhibit is interesting and when you walk in the first hallway, you receive a card with the name of a passenger. I was third class passenger and a Swede. I also drowned. Apparently the Swedes did not make it to the boats ... we were down in the bowels of the boat with Kate and Leonardo. Some of the rooms were interesting, especially the main staircase, the recreation of an ice burg and of course the actual piece of the Titanic which you could stick your finger through a hole and touch. So, I can now state that I have touched the Titanic, touched history, and of course, as a Swede, died.
After a little break, we headed back to my house for a little BBQ and then it was time to follow up the singular steak sensation with the opportunity of seeing the pre-Broadway engagement of A Chorus Line. For whatever reason, I've not seen the movie, a community theater version ... anything. The closest thing I've seen is a snippet of the iconic song and, of course, various drag queens doing their versions of the Dance 10, Looks 3 (i.e. the Tits and Ass song). Of course, the last drag queen I saw lip synch the song looked emaciated and was UGLY and I mean stop a speeding train ugly and ironically, for a song about getting enhancements ... did not not have either the "T" or the "A" to support the lyrics of the song. Anyway, through Frank's volunteer group we were able to join others for the dress rehearsal (i.e. front row mezzanie ... FREE!). The group of people seated behind us apparently LOVED the show ... we're talking 5 minute standing ovations and deep throated "YEAHS" at different points in the show.
Personally, while I enjoyed the show, I was nervous about the things being hawked up behind me that might land in my hair. I have to ponder how the show lasted as long as it did during its original run since the staging consisted pretty much of a line and a set of mirrors that appeared sporadically throughout the performance. Frank felt that they didn't really do anything new to merit the revival of the show but the music is catchy.
After a fairly unadventurous ride home on MUNI it was time to head to bed, so that we would be prepared for an early bike ride along Ocean Beach.
Sunday
Tourists should try to see some part of the city by bike. I would recommend the Chrissey Field ride, the Golden Gate Bridge to Marin County ride or start at the base of the Cliff House and ride along Ocean Beach and around Lake Merced. This is an area of the city that not many people explore. We met our friend Tom and headed out.
Following a quick shower, we walked to Dotties True Blue Cafe. We joined the crazies for 75 minutes and then enjoyed a Southwestern omelette, a fresh Pecan roll and a lot of really black coffee. But don't take our word for it ... see what Lashonda G said on Yelp.com.
Update 7/11/05: I went back with my boyfriend and had an absolutely great breakfast. I had to bump this one up, from four to five stars. The whole wheat pancakes with a hint of cinammon were melt in your mouth yummy. I don't know what happened but the maple syrup actually tasted good this time?? The french toast could have been soaked in egg a bit longer but my boyfriend's omelette was yummy. He ordered ham and cheese but that was the best damn ham I've tasted in an omelette and found my fork constantly in his plate. The fresh squeezed oj was good and the blueberry yogurt muffin was soft , filled with berries, and quite tasty. I've decided to bring family members here, despite the neighborhood. Best place for breakfast in San Francisco.
This place has great breakfast. I love combination plates, so I ordered the sampler which had french toast, pancakes, eggs, potatoes, and bacon. Everything was great, although I'm not a big fan of maple syrup, so that took away from the breakfast a bit (for me). Everything was very hot and right off the grill, since everything is cooked on a hot grill in front of the bar. I went with the basics but there was a lot of specialty menu items that sounded good. I ordered and received my meal rather quickly, and the waiter was super nice. I rated this place a 4 instead of 5 because of the maple syrup thing, the wait on weekend mornings, the lack of parking in the neighborhood, and the sketchy people EVERYWHERE. The neighborhood is not so great, but you forget about that once you're inside and chowing down."
It was now time to get on MUNI and head to the Giants game. San Francisco played the San Diego Padres and after 12 innings lost 6 to 5. After Dottie's we were not tempted by the culinary options, but when the temperature got hot enough a little Bud Light draft sure hit the spot! It hit the spot three times. The stadium is great and the old ladies who were seated behind us (not in their own seats) tried to convince us to go sit in their seats in the sun! Hell no. I live in San Francisco for a reason and it was to flippin hot this weekend. My seat was in the shade and I was not going to leave. We stayed for 9 innings and then had to leave to get keys to the kitty sitter.
We finished our weekend with a quick bite at Quizno's and a movie at AMC 1000. I can't say I'd recommend Monster House but it was amusing and a little scarey at times.
I know. I know. You ask, "How could they do all this in 48 hours?" With a little planning, anyone can. So? What are you going to do next weekend?
