Sans Lips

The great thing about hoarding memories in boxes is that at some point, you have to go through the boxes and determine what to keep and what to get rid of. Perhaps it is Virgo anxiety or the fact that Frank and I do not have adequite storage, but I have been consolidating my boxes down to the bare minimum. Many of these little treasures will find their way here ... to Dougan's World.

This was originally published in the Walla Walla College newspaper in 1993. Such angst. Such questioning.

Sans Lips

I was lying in bed one night reading about writing, when a strange, totally absurd question entered my head. It crept in slowly, humming slightly, so as to intrigue, but not disturb my attentive mind. That didn't last. Soon the it sang out discordantly, demanding attention. Unable to concentrate I stopped reading, put my book down, and acknowledged the damn thing. It was such an absurd thing that I almost hated to give it time, let alone repeat it. But here it is anyway, the question that possessed my mind frame.

How much pressure would it take to cut off one's lips with a razor blade?

Now, I'm not talking about a slight little nick, but a real long, clean slice! You know, the kind of slide you get when peeling an apple withoutlifting the knife! Only instead of beginning under the surface of the apple's skin, you place the razor blad beneath the skin at the top of your upper lip, then pulling the blade down in a quick slice, remove your lips cleanly, just before the pain arrives.

Surprisingly, the question intrigued me so much that I jumped out of bed and scribbled it onto a piece of paper so as to prevent it from disappearing internally. I'm almost a bit wary of shaving now; afraid that my subconscious, unbeknownst to my conscious, is still obsessed with finding the answer. How much pressure dows it take to cut off one's lips with a razor blade?

I don't know. Can you imaging looking down into the sink and seeing your lips, then gazing into the mirror and seeing your face appear as if you've just drunk the blood of your first deer? I can.

But, the question didn't end there, it went on. What if my subconscious won and I did lose my lips, how would I look? I really doubt if it would be an improvement, but it could be. I don't know. Then I wondered, if I cut my lips off, would you still love me? It's not like cutting your hair you know, lips don't grow back. But now I'm curious. Tell me honestly, would you?

D. Miller (1993)