Monday, August 30, 2004

The August Weight Update


Down from July!

Friday, August 27, 2004

Back to School

The city is warming up and the kiddies are heading back to school to enjoy the warmth of the sun through classroom windows. Feeling the annual tug to return to the classroom, I lept at the chance to take a new class. Frank and I have signed up for a "History of Homosexuality in Film” course being taught at the LGBT…YXYZ Center! Not that I am a stickler for details, but the posted signs indicated that the class began this week, when in reality it began last week. So, I’m already behind in readings!

The Course: The History of Homosexuality in Film

Course Description: An overview of the representations of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender identities in the cinema, from the silent era to the present. Using the Celluloid Closet as a main text, students will begin by exploring homosexual subtexts in classic Hollywood films and the history/politics attached to these earl “queer” images. As the class progresses, students will turn their attention to films made for and by LGBT communities, in tandem with prominent queer film theories and critiques. Hollywood coding, the sissy, the queer monster, “lesbian” supporting actresses, and camp are among the topics that will be discussed in this course —all with the objective of giving voice to the “love that dare not speak its name.” Students will also be introduced to various film forms, from mainstream (Hollywood) narrative cinema and (International) art-cinema to documentary and underground cinema, and will explore the ways in which these diverse film forms have constructed and articulated queer desires and identities – let the fun begin!!


Now, you can tell that it is going to be fun because the final words of the course description says, “let the fun begin!!” and includes not one but TWO exclamation points. If two exclamation points don’t just scream excitement, I don’t know what does.

After just one night, I know that there will be more drama in the classroom than there will be during the presentation! Let me introduce the major cast members. This is not a comprehensive list since the minor characters have not established themselves and will be introduced throughout the course as necessary.

Artsy Instructor—This is a primarily gay audience, so it makes sense to have a “GAY” instructor, but a gay and artsy together, some would say a dream come true!! How do I know he’s artsy you ask? Well, first he’s thin as a rail (can’t afford to eat or spends his cash or art supplies and such), then he is sporting the dark glasses and has sculpted facial topiary, a t-shirt with a vintage tie and waves his hands in nervous gestures. At times, when he wants to pass over the baby dyke, he whispers, “Anyone else … anyone else have an answer?” Projected Antagonist: Hostile Baby-Dyke

Angry Baby Dyke—She also needs to eat and has that “I haven’t washed in protest of the war” look to her. Her unkempt hair is low-budget Ellen and her hip huggers and safety pins scream intellectual. Knows her stuff and speaks freely. She has a Bush, President Bush, mentality, which means her opinion is the RIGHT opinion. Grew up in San Francisco, so her LGBT… Gay card is official. Project Antagonist: The class

Oxygen Man—One of our dear octogenarians (wheeze wheeze) and a possible smoker!! He arrived in classic Sound of Music shorts with suspenders that hiked up everything (you know what I mean) inappropriately. During the introduction, he made a … phone call, “Hello? Hello!! I think I left my … what? Outside? oh, (wheeze wheeze) okay. Enjoys life in general, though I’m not sure if he knows where he is … he’s got potential for bringing the unexpected to class. Projected Antagonist: The Artsy Instructor

Screened: The Celluloid Closet

Next Week: The Sissy. Screening: The Kid Brother (Howe and Wild, 1927) Required Reading: Celluloid Closet (C.C.) pp. 4—18.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Dougan's Books

Last Summer by Michael Thomas Ford

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed with Provincetown last summer (my first visit), which is curious since we had a fabulous place to stay, went whale watching, drank, ate, and got to enjoy numerous shows and adventures. I didn’t get the “magic” of the place and the books that I’ve read that were set there seemed a bit shallow and didn’t quite capture the essence either. This book has changed my mind ...

Full Review > >

Monday, August 23, 2004

The Best Buck in the Bay

Yee haw! I got my boots on … I’ve got my hat dusty … I’ve got my saddle on my horse … forget that, there is that damn 200 lb. Weight limit and I haven’t been on a horse in years. However, I am an admireror of those who can get on those gentle beasts and I’ve got sunburn to prove it. Who knew one could get a burn in the bay area? You’ve got to love it when a drag queen with Texas size hair trying to rally the troops with a little chocolate and an application to dress a goat! And who knew that La Honda, CA had so many pastures, redwoods and mansions? I digress, the sun shone brightly on the Gay rodeo.


The grand parade 

Gay Rodeo 101—There are “Rodeo Events” and then there are “Gay Rodeo Events.” Bull Riding is a typical rodeo event. A man or a woman gets on a bull that basically would rather be grazing someplace thinking bullish thoughts. The contestant must stay on for six seconds in order to qualify. Nothing new here, thus it is in the category of Rough Stock Events and is an activity that could be found at all rodeo events across the country.


The cowboys Get Ready for Action!

Goat Dressing is not a typical event and is found under the category of “Camp Events.” Camp is another series entirely and beyond the scope of this little blog. Goat dressing includes, a goat, two team members and a pair of tightie-whities (a.k.a. white underwear). The teams of two must catch a goat that is tethered 50 feet away from the start line. While one contestant raises the rear of the goat, the other contestant must fit a pair of the underwear over its legs and into the “dressed” position. Both contestants must run back past the start line and timer before the goat drops its drawers in order to qualify. The fastest time wins!


There is Ms. 2004 Rodeo Queen in the bottom right corner!

There is some statement that in Dallas there are only steers and queers and the same could be said about the IGRA Rodeo. Of course, this year was the 20th anniversary for the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association (GSGRA).


Watching the from the grandstand!

Events:

Calf Roping on Foot
Team Roping
Mounted Breakaway Roping
Chute Dogging
Goat Dressing
Bareback Bronc Riding
Barrel Racing
Steer Riding
Steer Decorating
Bull Riding
Wild Drag Race
Flag Racing
Pole Bending


The boys in the bleachers!

We missed the wild drag race in order to get back to the hotel for the “Degrease” party at the pool and then the dance in the evening. Next year, I will get Frank to participate in the goat dressing and get my buckle.


The boys: Jon, Randy, Douglas and Paul


So sweet it should be illegal! 

August Movies

The Manchurian Candidate—I missed the first one but if Angela Lansbury is anything on par with Meryl Streep then I better invest a few hours to compare the two. A very enjoyable film.

My Yahoo Review > >

Riding Giants—I’m not a surfer but was kept in awe by the waves and the gradual progression of this film.

The Bourne Supremacy—The nonstop action sequences made me forget that I’m not a big Matt Damon fan.

The Village—The yawn. Not a good movie, especially while nursing a lovely hangover.

Eruption – Mt. St. Helens – Imax Dome —As Imax films go, this is not a must see. The footage was grainy, the narration dated and the overall feel was not up to par with current releases. However, as a child I remember watching Kids Are People Too in my pajamas when the alert message scrolled across the bottom of the screen warning everyone to stay indoors. I remember the ash on the cars, the darkness, and the impact this event had on our everyday lives.

Collateral—This was a pleasant surprise. The camera angles, the pace, the performances, all made for an intense experience. Sprinkled throughout the plot all of the subplots and storylines merged together satisfactorily. It is both unapologetic and direct and avoids the syrupy redemption at the end that is too common in movies today.

Kill Bill Vol. II – The Red Victorian in San Francisco is the perfect little theater to catch movies that you may have missed on their first run. They serve organic popcorn with garlic salt and real butter in bowls like you would eat out of at home. There are also a series of benches instead of seats so you can snuggle close to the one you love with a blast of garlic breath! Yummy.

My Yahoo Review > >

Intimate Strangers—The premise of a woman mistaking a tax attorney for a therapist is interesting. The dialogue and the relationship that develops is suspenseful ... what is truth?

My Yahoo Review > >

Monday, August 16, 2004

Seattle … Now Arriving

[Thursday - August 12, 2004]

Birthdays are odd little creatures. Personally, I like to avoid the specific “days” and let people enjoy the birth of me with a bit of latitude (a.k.a. the entire month of September). Anyway, Frank turned 45 this year so technically there is a ten-year span between the two of us … yes, some may sound the drums of the Lion King and sing “Circle of Life, “ but I define the circle in anything over a ten-year age difference. Quibble if you may.


The Two Towers!

Back to Frank. For his birthday this year, I decided that upon a little get away to the state of Washington. I figured, a dry run might be good and since we’ll be going to Walla Walla for the holidays, Seattle is as good as it is going to get. It turned out to be a good thing because we discovered that there are now over 40 wineries in the Walla Walla Valley and if we can’t distract ourselves in at least 40 different tastings …

Anyway, our flight was delayed but we made a safe flight (yes, yes the pilot helped) from San Francisco to Seattle, took a cab and enjoyed seeing the Space Needle up close and lit up. We arrived at the Mediterranean Inn, which according to Hotels.com was a “downtown” hotel. This is a loose definition of downtown; one not shared by the cab’s flat fee, but was indeed close to the Seattle Center, a short shopping street, and some bar with really bad Karaoke.

How bad? Let’s just say that five quart sized Long Island Ice Teas from the Rainbow Cattle Company in Guerneville, California would not have improved this ambiance. These people were pouring their hearts into the music and once in awhile hit a not on key. Otherwise the other twenty-somethings were too engrossed with browsing the song selections to listen to each other. SLAUGHTER.


Nothing like Dick's late at night!

We had a little Dick’s that night before going to bed. Interestingly, either we were really hungry or the historic little grease joint was good. I swear it was the best burger and fries I’ve had in months! Dicks is so good we witnessed an entire bridal party drive up in a limo, pile out and return five minutes later with bags of food! Hot!

Seattle – Day 1

[Friday, August 13, 2004]

Seattle the land of liquid sunshine … not! For a wet little town, there is a lot of emphasis on the fact that it actually has less rainfall than Boston or New York. Personally, it sounds like the little yappy dog that insists it is not small … we don’t have that much rain, it’s misty. Misty? Whatever, this weekend it was absolutely gorgeous! And I mean gorgeous in that skin cancer sort of way. Yeah!

My mother will be disappointed but I cannot move back to the home state until the smoking laws arrive. We Californians may be a little freaky and have the terminator for governor but we also have fresh air with our pancakes. We started the day with a little in-room Starbucks and breakfast at the Mecca Café—Not Fine Dining, Just a Fine Diner!. Indulging in a carb-filled breakfast (it was Frank’s birthday weekend) we wandered into the Seattle Center and took the elevator to the top of the Space Needle. This was followed by a race to the ferry building where, we missed the ferry to Bainbridge Island. However, we took the opportunity to wander Pioneer Square and to inquire about the Underground Tour.


On the boat to Bainbridge IslandPosted by Hello

Catching the next ferry, we enjoyed views and wandered the town to our lunch spot, Café Nola , which had to be, followed with dessert at the Black Bird Café —love the Monkey bars. Anyway, I didn’t plan on biking, which looked like a good option and thought about a bit of hiking which also took some planning. We jumped on the ferry back to Seattle and took the underground tour.

Hmm. Either I am becoming jaded or things just don’t shock me anymore. The “seamstress” stories (a.k.a. prostitutes) didn’t shock. The drugs, the gambling and the filth stories, didn’t shock but the “Steam Baths” sign that was taken down and placed underground made me laugh … since it used to indicate the space used as a gay bath house and is now an area where people can get married (not gay people of course … but that is another story). It is still a great tour and if you get a chance to take it, do. That’s an order.

From there, it was time for dinner and we found a great space, Rosebud, which included the sleigh and memorabilia from the Citizen Kane movie. Interesting ambiance. Great service – the water girl looked like a Stepford wife and the waiter looked better suited for a new age rock band. We finished the evening hopping from place to place on Capitol Hill. Neighbors … was like watching a train wreck unfolding in slow motion. There were muscle boys and Goth girls with horns. A tranny in a gold mini-dress and the 400-pound guy doing a shimmee on the dance floor. Of course, our foray into R Place made us feel … well, old.

However, with three good meals and a few beers under my belt, I cannot complain.

Summary:

· Café Mecca
· Space Needle
· Bainbridge Island
· Café Nola
· Underground Tour
· Rosebud
· Neighbors
· R Place

Seattle - Day 2

[Saturday, August 14, 2004]
Today was not going to be a “food” day. So with just a cup of coffee from the original Starbucks in Pike Street Market, we went to Paroshki Paroshki where I devoured an onion cheese roll and an apple roll type thingy. Yummy!!! Then it was the market. Little nibbles everywhere screamed, tempted and tried to seduce.


Quality Meat! Posted by Hello

We saw fruit, we saw vegetables and we saw this year’s bumper crop … fake boobs! Yes folks, apparently under the damp misty skies of Seattle there is a crop of fakery out there just waiting for a hint of sunshine to expose themselves to the light. Not to say that they compete with the flying fish or the other items on display but they were everywhere. Fort Worth and Dallas, Texas had big hair and cigarettes. Seattle had big boobs and cigarettes. Joy. It’s too bad that my brother banged up his knee or he could have been wandering the streets enjoying the sights.

The following is According to Madam X, a fortune-telling machine:

Danger, danger lies ahead
Skirt it with a delicate tread
Do not stick you chin out
Or you’ll regret it no doubt.

You are very quick tempered (this is true!). Quick to get excited and quick to cool off (amazingly true!). This will cost you some dear friends (let me know if this is true). Your pride will frequently get you into trouble (possible, very possible). Learn to be a little more sympathetic to the troubles of others. Lend a more willing ear to their tales of woe (bring it on!). You have a fine mind, cultivate it (I’m trying). Make it a habit to do a little more reading (2 books … one weekend!). Find a little more time to do a bit of traveling. It will broaden your outlook on life. Your marriage life will run more smoothly when you overcome your inclination to jump to conclusions (when it becomes legal … I’ll let you know).

Put another 50¢ in the slot and I will tell more.

Your Lucky #s (Nope, I’m not going to share … in the words of Daffy Duck, “They’re mine. Mine. All mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.


From Pike Street Market we descended down to the wharf. Nothing is too touristy on vacation so we took in “Eruption—Mt. St. Helens” on the Imax dome. It was an interesting film since we had flown over the mountain the night before.

Dinner was a special occasion and we dressed for it … if only I had a pair of fake boobs, it would have been perfect. Frank selected a restaurant, Wild Ginger, and it was worth the visit. Deliciousness and then a movie at one of the downtown theaters.

We were supposed to go to some bear event at the Cuff Complex but opted to go to a little martini bar down the street from our hotel, Tini Biggs. Of course, it was at this time that I realized I might have done an English Major math issue … transposed the tip and shortchanged our waiter at Wild Ginger. Oops.

Very tired. We went home.

Summary:

· Pike Street Market
· Original Starbucks
· Parushki Parushki Bakery
· Imax Omnidome
· Wild Ginger
· Collateral
· Tini Biggs

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Seattle - Day 3

This is it. No more. Our waiter had recommended Pesos, a local place just up the street from the hotel. The food was yummy – chicken fried steak with corn-jalapeno gravy! It was a great way to start the day.


At the market

With breakfast out of the way, we went back to the market to procure gelato, fudge, and to basically waste time until we had to leave for the airport. Returning to the hotel via the Seattle Center we watched the kids play in the International Fountain and then spent a few happy hours at SeaTac airport and then home. Now it is back to work … where to go next? How about a rodeo next weekend? The Best Buck in the Bay!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

The Wedding Guest

There is always one at a wedding. And one should try and avoid being, the one. I thought I was the one but after a little phone call yesterday discovered that I was one of many!

The wedding was simple, fast (once the organist arrived) and elegant. Karen was gorgeous. People were happy and then there was dinner. Vodka. Snacks. Vodka. Snacks. You get the picture. Then dinner. Frank and I had the thrill of being placed at the wine table. A good thing … and a very bad thing. Our new friends, Charles and Jeannie are associated with Rodney Strong up north. We had red. We had more red. Went upstairs. Danced a bit with Frank to the chagrin of the Indianans and apparently enjoyed being plied with champagne and … well, more vodka.

I don’t remember leaving. I do remember a fall or two on the way home. Frank informed me that the police were involved and then I relived the Mt. Vesuvious experience live in the living room, the bathroom and the bedroom. Such a pretty boyfriend.

In Summary ...


It was an unusual day in San Francisco … the sun was shining [cue bird chirps]

  • Walked to wedding
  • Enjoyed wedding -- bride exceptionally beautiful
  • Walked home - stopping by mansion to view estate sale and see how “they” live
  • Enjoyed a beer at home
  • Shared a bottle of champagne
  • Walked to reception
  • Ate hors de oeuvres
  • Drank Vodka and soda
  • Ate more hors de oeuvres
  • Drank Vodka and soda
  • Sat at table with wine guy from Rodney Strong
  • Ate dinner, drank more red wine
  • Drank more red wine
  • Drank more red wine ... continue for several bullet points
  • Went upstairs to dance
  • Things begin to got blurry
  • Michelle told Frank to take me home
  • Stumbled ... stumbled ...
  • Lost tie
  • Fell in the middle of Sacramento Street
  • Talked to the Police
  • Stumbled home
  • Fell on the front steps
  • Collapsed on living room couch
  • Spewed (and you know what I mean) on myself and couch
  • Wandered to bathroom and filled the tub (not with water)
  • Curled up in fetus position
  • Rinsed off
  • Got to bed ... spewed again
  • Back to the bathroom
  • Got out of bed 3:00 the next afternoon
  • Monday ... very cranky!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

NFV – Non-Fee Vehicle

Preparation. Setting the clock 30 minutes early. Taking my trash and the neighbors trash to the curb. Getting across the Bay Bridge in record time. Knowing that I will arrive in time for a meeting in Rancho Cordova in time and was prepared. All this positive karma went right out the window when I reached into my back pocket to get the bridge toll and realized that I did not have my wallet. Not only did I not have my wallet, I did not have a full tank of gas. I had less than a quarter of a tank of gas.

Taking the first exit, I raided my ashtray for coins and came up with $1.96. A full 4 cents short of the old bridge toll and far short of the new $3.00 toll. What to do? If I was advising someone else I could be calm. I could be collected and provide a word or two of wisdom. Attempting to calm the panic … I have no money … I have no cash … I’m going to miss my meeting … I got back on the freeway returning over the same stretch of road that I joyously covered so recently.

I approached the tollbooth, practicing my excuse. I have a problem … I don’t have the cash …

Hello, I don’t have …
Pull forward.
Excuse me?
Pull forward and I’m going to take a picture of your license plate. You have 5 days to pay the $3.00.

My “ticket” stated that I was simply a Non Fee Vehicle (NFV), which if you are ever in a panic over not having the cash to support Caldrons and the new Bay Bridge structure, and who won’t have problems when they bump that toll to $5.00! You can rest assured that you won’t be the first of last person to not have the correct change.

Monday, August 02, 2004

The Cholesterol Update

As you know, Frank and I started a major diet after Valentine's Day
this year after my doctor chastised my for A) weight gain and B) bad
cholesterol and C) high blood pressure. My initial goal was to lose weight
and to avoid being put on Cholesterol medication for the rest of my
life. After 5 months following the Atkin's Diet plan the results are in
and they are good!

Let me quote my doctor:

Douglas, you are making great progress, keep up the good work. Please repeat your fasting Cholesterol in 4 to 6 months, use the last page for the request.


And the results are:

Weight Loss: 228 pds (January = 263 pds, change of 35 pds!) - This was even more dramatic prior to TEXAS!!!!! ;-)

Total Cholesterol = 229mg/dL (January = 272mg/dL, change of 43mg/dL!)For most people a total cholesterol level of less than 240 is desirable.

Triglycerides H = 252mg/dL (January = 435mg/dL, change of 183mg/dL!)Triglycerides measure certain fats in the blood. High triglyceride levels can increase heart disease risk. For most adults, a triglyceride level under 400 is acceptable and a level below 200 is ideal.

HDL Cholesterol L = 38mg/dL (January = 35mg/dL, change of 3mg/dL!)HDL Cholesterol is also called "good cholesterol" because it helps remove excess cholesterol from your blood. High HDL levels are good for your heart. HDL levels of less than 40 for men and less than 45 for women can increase your risk of heart disease.

LDL Cholesterol =141mg/dL (not tested in January)LDL Cholesterol is also called "bad cholesterol" because too much LDL is bad for your heart. For most people, an LDL level under 130 is desirable.

So basically, I have been able to lower the bad and raise the good! It
is amazing what diet and exercise can accomplish. I am now energized
to continue with the weight loss plan and dedicated time for exercise.
If you need encouragement to join the Atkins Low Carb cult ... see the
results above!